The Joke's On Us
Whenever you leave a review on a product that you love, you'll get a response from one of our hilarious Simpli comedians. Read at your own risk.
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Geared Towards Larger Customers.
Now, it could very well be the length of my intimate area; or my libido. I will make that disclaimer, as ANYTHING the bigger the more pleasure; however, I’m not entirely sure that this model was thought out with great detail. It can easily be omitted from the Pipedream catalogue. I literally took the sleeve ou and used as is, once I got aroused I tried inserting into the case it was in. And it gave some pleasure, but I’m not happy. I was expecting something to stroke and vibrate me without and effort, but this was a hassle. Again, it could be because of my endowment; but I prefer the Pipedream EZstroker. Ps. Sex Toy Manufacturers, don’t leave out your average 7-8 customers. We need love too! Oh and it’s too damn loud.
Simpli Pleasures
Hi, Thanks for leaving a review. It is unfortunate that the item you received is not up to your satisfaction. As per our Pleasure Promise we will definitely make things right for you! Please kindly check your inbox as we've reached out to you with an solution to improve your customer experience. Kind regards, Jovelle | Simpli Customer Care 1-800-918-6308 care@simplipleasures.com
Loud and Not for Everyone
Simplicity: Very easy to assemble/use/clean. The mount is a bit lacking in strength to attach but I mostly want to review the actual item itself as it can be "hands free" if in a sitting position regardless of the suction cup attachment. Functions: I *think* there are a lot of decent build up suction and vibration choices that pair well with the C rings. I'm thankful there are three sizes of C rings that come in the package as I'm a bit thicker than average but only a bit) and only the larger size fit comfortably. However, this product fails when it comes to having a thicker penis. See below: Suction: I purchased this based on the length and width measurements, knowing they of course meant the framework and not interior. Did a lot of research as my goal was to find something I can insert my penis most of the way. However, what I failed to realize that if you insert yourself so that the tip of your penis moves towards (not past but maybe half way towards) the second black ring towards the "sucking" creation part (see photographs they have of the packaging to see the rings), the suction just, stops. As in, the pull is not strong enough to do anything. The only thing I can think of is either I'm not supposed to insert myself past about half between the rings, the whole thing just really struggles to do a suction, or the item just isn't the right sizing for my own penis, given we all have different shapes and sizes. And WOW is it loud. Like ridiculously loud. It's quieter not being inserted, but then once you are inside it, it really seems like it struggles to fulfill its function. The reason I heavily lean towards thickness being the issue is because I'm very familiar with motors/electronics/etc. The noise level of the machine not inserted changes to about 5-10x louder depending on how far I insert. This suggests a struggle to function. Vibration: The vibration settings are great, I enjoy those and this particular setting does not care what size you are. I'm wondering if a thinner penis can go further inside it without trouble? LED: The LED setting is actually distracting and surprisingly, you can only cycle what you want the lights to display and there is no actual just "off" element when the suction or vibration setting is in the "on" setting. Price: If I could insert all the way and it wasn't so noisy it was to the point of distracting, I'd say it was very fairly priced. However, I can't quite use the item was desired. Overall: Two stars because it can get the job done and if you are of average size or small (especially in terms of thickness), I would recommend this product as it would probably be quite enjoyable. Personally, it just didn't work out and I really believe the description of the item by the manufacturer should include maximum penis thickness size for "optimal" use.
Simpli Pleasures
Hi, Thanks for leaving a review. It is unfortunate that the item you received is not up to your satisfaction. As per our Pleasure Promise we will definitely make things right for you! Please kindly check your inbox as we've reached out to you with an solution to improve your customer experience. Kind regards, Jovelle | Simpli Customer Care 1-800-918-6308 care@simplipleasures.com
Disappointed.
Basically, this is a masturbator sleeve with a motor. The problem with this is the sensation from the motors have to pass through the thick silicon sleeve.In doing so, the sensation is almost non existent. Save your money and just buy a sleeve without the motor.
Simpli Pleasures
Hi, Thanks for leaving a review. It is unfortunate that the item you received is not up to your satisfaction. As per our Pleasure Promise we will definitely make things right for you! Please kindly check your inbox as we've reached out to you with an solution to improve your customer experience. Kind regards, Jovelle | Simpli Customer Care 1-800-918-6308 care@simplipleasures.com
Disappointed
Wish I read the reviews before purchasing. Not close to what I was hoping for. Not enough vibrations and squeezing. Can't even make me cum. Had to remove the sleeve and finish myself off. Not worth what I paid for it. Should've went with something else.
Simpli Pleasures
Buyers remorse sucks. It sucks even more when your toy doesn’t. Our customer care team will reach out to hook you up to finish the job and you. ;)
Disappointed
I was very disappointed. Was not what I expected. Yeah it's feels okay but I was expecting way stronger vibrations and stroking power and the earphones right side was blown it sounded like. I just went with taking out the sleeve and nutting with my own hand compressions. I feel like I got ripped off. Sorry to be negative but I give it 2 stars.
Simpli Pleasures
Never apologize for being honest, it’s how we get better! Our customer care team will reach out to set you up with a toy that won’t disappoint, and we hope you return for some positive feedback. :)
Fantastic
The name Mega milker explains it all I’ve never came so much or so hard in my life
Simpli Pleasures
The best part of reaching a new ‘best orgasm’? Finding the next one. :wink: Happy humping!
Just not worth it
Overall this machine just doesn’t do much for a good experience. It barely stimulates the shaft or the head. Wish I didn’t spend my money on this product as it is just not worth the money it cost. Never wanted to return a product more than this one. Hopefully they can make this right. :(
Simpli Pleasures
Thank you for posting your feedback,Brett . We’re proud to have a great collection of toys which we know you’d love, but we also understand that some of them might not work for you. The good news? We will definitely do our best to make things right for you. Just reply to the email we've sent anytime. Looking forward to your reply so we can resolve the issue. Best, Jasmin | Simpli Customer Care 1-800-918-6308 care@simplipleasures.com
crap
it does nott do much of anything at all,barely moves.its worthless like some of other things i have bough from you.
Simpli Pleasures
Are we milking you?
Satisfied ''��
Gets the job done '
Simpli Pleasures
Tell me more about this job opening ;)