Let’s Bust This Nut Wide Open
Honestly, where would we be without dildos? These fake dicks have been around since time began, when our ancient relatives got horny and started carving dicks out of rocks, wood, and anything else they could find. (Wait, do you think that’s why they call it the ‘Stone’ Ages? 🤔) Now, here we are, thousands of years later, still bangin’ penis-shaped objects in all kinds of shapes, colors, and sizes.
But they have become a lot more real. Veins, skin-like feel, and super detailed balls on a dildo are always great, but, occasionally, you want your dildo to be even more realistic…and that’s when you reach for an ejaculating dildo. There’s nothing like a dildo that can explode on command. But what are they, how do you use them, and where can you get them? Keep reading and we’ll tell you all about one of our favorite spunky toys.
What’s an ejaculating dildo?
So, first things first, let’s touch on exactly what an ejaculating dildo is (and why you almost certainly should have one). Although the name is pretty self-explanatory, these cum-filled dildos aren’t as popular as their non-squirting counterparts, which means you might not know how they work (and why). These dildos are designed like a regular dildo, except it has a tube that runs all the way through the shaft that can be filled with any splooge-like liquid of your choice.
Before we get into how the jizz gets in (and out) of these squirting schlongs, here’s a list of people that would love this toy:
- Anyone that’s really into cum or breeding, without the baby
- Anyone who doesn’t have a penis and fantasizes about what it’d be like to bust a nut all over someone’s face (or anywhere, really)
- People with partners that don’t have a penis, but who want *them* to trickle babymilk down their back (or a surface of their choosing)
- Someone that has a penis but has erectile dysfunction and wants to get back in the ejaculation game
- Any adult human that’s super curious about a dildo that shoots fake cum everywhere
Truthfully, there’s about a million other scenarios and reasons that we’re probably missing. Ultimately, if you want an ejaculating dildo, then you should simpli try one out.
Now, let’s figure out how to get cum into one of these things!
Get Jizzy With It
There are a few types of ejaculating dildos and each type is filled and *un-filled* in a different way. The dildo you get will come with its instructions, but here’s a quick breakdown so you know what you’re getting into. We’ll cover what you can (and can’t) use to fill your toy in the next section.
Suck It In
The most popular ejaculating dildos are pumped full of their cum-type liquid using some kind of syringe. These models are probably the easiest and most straightforward to use - add your chosen liquid to the syringe and when it’s time for your faux-cock to burst, just squeeze the syringe and – fireworks! This option is also great because it usually holds the most volume, plus you can squeeze harder for a more forceful stream or apply less pressure for a more ✨trickling✨ effect.
Our favorite dildo, the Bust It Squirting Realistic C—ck by Doc Johnson, uses the syringe-method and is also super, super realistic (the veins and the sculpted shaft?! We get wet every time we think about it). And, it even comes with its own cum-like liquid “nut butter”. And no, that isn’t just a figure of speech – that’s really what it’s called. You can check it out here —> Bust It Nut Butter. Plus, Mr. Bust It also has a removable suction cup base, so you can stick it anywhere, like the living room floor or bathroom wall, and suck it or ride it (or anything else you’re into) however and wherever you want.
Pump and Dump
Up next on the list are the pump-filled dildos. These are a little less common and a little more complicated to use. Essentially, a pump in the ejaculating dildo creates a vacuum that lets you suck the liquid into the dildo from the tip of the shaft. Apply pressure to the pump, dip the head of the dildo in the liquid, release the pressure to load up, and there you have it - a ‘custard’ filled cock! Usually, you can squeeze this same pump (sometimes located in the balls for convenience and realism) to reverse the process when you’re ready to make your toy squirt.
Cum…From Afar
If you’re looking for a dildo that can bust a nut with the touch of a button – remote (or electrical) squirters are for you. These aren’t as popular as the other types, mostly because they’re more pricey than the manual versions. Mixing electricity and liquids is also generally not a great idea, so these dildos are also more prone to malfunctions, rust (on the internal mechanisms), and often have a shorter lifespan than their DIY friends. But, if you’re into hyper-realism or want to be able to cause an eruption from across the room, these electronic ejaculating dildos are definitely worth it.
The Long And Short Of It
Within each of the categories we mentioned, there are a variety of shapes, styles, and types of ejaculating dildos that you can find. For example, some dildos have suction cups (like the perky pecker we mentioned earlier), some are perfect for harnesses (maybe for taking things up ‘a peg’?), and some are designed to look like literally anything other than the “real thing”. Whatever you’re into – you can find it (and f*ck it)!
Planting the seed
Before you head off to fill your pickle and start your fun, we should warn you that there are a few rules to what you should, and 100% shouldn’t, use as fake jizz.
The Dil-Don’ts
- Alcohol of any kind isn’t advised, especially if any type of anal play is involved (can you imagine the burn?!). If you do enjoy alcohol, just try to keep it out of your (and anyone else’s) holes.
- This one may be obvious, but ONLY LIQUIDS should be used to gas up your stick shift. The fluid you add to your ejaculating dildo should be runny enough to move through the tube without clogging it. Remember, once you get a clog, playtime is over until you’ve removed it (which can take quite a while). That means you should stay away from anything thicker than the consistency of chocolate syrup. So, basically, no mashed potatoes, but you can add gravy to your meat just fine 😉.
- Warming the ‘cum’ beforehand can make the experience feel more realistic, but no one wants a third degree burn in their ****. We love temperature play, BUT, if you’re planning to heat things up, make sure your liquids aren’t boiling hot. As a rule, if there’s excessive steam rising from the liquid, it’s too hot for your holes, and probably your body too. We repeat: if it feels like it could burn your tongue, it’ll likely burn other places too!
The Dil-Dos
Now, here’s what you *can* put in your little jizzy johnson.
- Of course, lubes are always acceptable. Aim for something water-based – oily lubes will be harder to clean out of the tube and can leave residue. Many cum substitutes (like nut butter) are concentrated and should be mixed with water to loosen up the texture before you use it.
- If you can drink it - you can probably put it in your dildo. This includes water, coffee, juices, sodas, and milk. But, fluids with a lot of sugar get thick and syrupy once they dry out and, if your toy isn’t cleaned properly, can get stuck in the tube and be very *very* hard to remove. If you absolutely must use something sweet, make sure it’s safe for the area you’re cumming on or into (e.g., vaginas and sugary liquids are a sure-fire ‘no no’).
- This one is simple enough – real cum. Want to repurpose actual baby batter? Go right ahead! Just make sure it’s…fresh. It’s never a good idea to use bodily fluids that have been ‘outside’ of someone’s body for more than a few hours. (This also goes for pee.)
- A DIY creation of your choice. There’s plenty of fake cum recipes online that are easy to follow, although the taste may leave something to be desired. Be cautious though – substances like baking soda/powder, cornstarch, and flour are all great for external jizzing, but the only hole they can safely go in is your mouth.
Time To Slooge Out
5 Ways To Have Fun With Your Squirting Dildo
Now that your cock is stocked and loaded, it’s time to figure out how to use it. You’ve probably got a few fantasies in your head you want to try out, but here’s a few more.
Pegging
A common use for ejaculating dildos is pegging, especially if one of the partners involved doesn’t have a penis. Just remember, before you let ‘em slide in your booty like a pirate, be sure to keep your fake cum no hotter than room temperature (for the most comfortable experience).
‘Real-feel’ oral fantasies
Does the look and feel of jizz dripping down your face turn you on? Or maybe, you get off on the idea of watching your partner suck you off until you ‘burst’ in their mouth? Realistic fantasies about oral are easy to play out with ejaculating dildos. Pro tip: add a flavored lube (like Goodhead’s yummy edible fruit ones) to your cock for a tasty treat!
Role playing & BDSM
Switch roles with your partner and give it to them how you always get it. Usually on your knees? Now it’s your turn to bend them over and leave a happy cum trail all along their back. Wanna see what it feels like to get filled like a jelly donut? Grab your dildo and let your partner know your holes are open for business.
DP (double penetration)
Two heads are better than one, especially when it comes to…well, ‘cumming’. Use the toy alone, paired with another dildo, to turn yourself into a two-way street (for dicks). Or, find a partner that’s down-to-f*ck and get filled in (and filled up) from both angles.
As a water dispenser…or maybe a bookend?
Granted, this one is probably the least sexy idea on the list (and definitely the least practical) – but, who says you gotta play by the rules? Maybe you just want an ejaculating dildo for home decor, or because the thought of shooting your friends with fake ball juice from a large penis makes you giggle. (We’re a sex toy company…we don’t judge).
Last But Nut Least
Keep It Clean
The fun is over - you’re drained and exhausted and it’s time to wrap your dick up and put it away. But, never without thoroughly cleaning it first! While you may be tempted to roll over and go to bed after your wild, creamy night, you shouldn’t ever use a sex toy and store it again without cleaning it properly - especially a toy like this.
Dish soap and body washes are *not* sex toy approved, so please keep them away from your toys. Your **** deserves better, like an actual toy soap – that isn’t made for pots and pans. Warm water, a sex toy wash (or antibacterial soap), and a pipe cleaner are your best bets at getting your ejaculating dildo’s tube spotless and free from gunk and grime.
Flush the tube by sucking up some warm, soapy water, letting it sit, and squirting it out. Then, use the pipe cleaner to push any residue off the walls of the tube. Do this for a few minutes before using plain water to flush the tube again. Turn your dildo upside down with a paper towel or clean washcloth at the tip to ensure that no liquid is left inside the tube. Once you’re sure your dildo is empty and dry, store it somewhere cool until the next time you’re ready to cream on the cob.
Interested in other sex toys? Well, good thing we’ve got a bunch to choose from! Check out our collections to discover more dildos (and anything else you need to add to your personal pleasure stash).