Sex is amazing; it allows you to let go in ways that just aren’t possible with your clothes on. Unfortunately, sex can also get boring and routine if you don’t find ways to keep it exciting (especially if you’re in a long-term relationship).
If you feel like your sex life has gotten dull, and you’re looking for ways to relight that spark, we’ve got you. Let’s talk anal sex positions that anyone can use (because, even if you weren’t born with a penis, there’s always a sex toy for that!).
Gay Sex vs. Anal Sex — Are They Different?
A weird, undeserved stigma comes with anal sex, as though you have to be “gay” to enjoy it. Guess what? We all have a bootyhole, so butt stuff is about as equal opportunity as you can get.
We’re gonna move away from calling them “gay sex positions” and talk about them in terms of how to have the most fun with backdoor lovin’ as possible. Gender is just a construct, after all.
What Are the Best Anal Sex Positions?
Ready to get down to some sexy, sexy business? Let’s lube up and dive right in with 10 of the best anal sex positions. Most of these positions can be done by anyone — from beginners to those with more, well, “experience.”
Don’t be afraid to try something new; change and novelty are the spice of life!
1. The Classic Missionary
Hey, don’t roll your eyes. Missionary position often gets a bad rap for being vanilla or boring, but when you’re using it for anal and really into your partner, it’s anything but (pun intended). The classic missionary position gives you the ultimate face-to-face eye contact, which ups the feelings of intimacy and naughtiness.
There’s just something super hot about staring your partner in the face while they’re pounding you in the ass. The only tweak you need to make for easier backdoor entry is to use a pillow or rolled-up towel to help tilt the “receiver’s” pelvis up a bit.
Angles are everything, especially when hitting just the right spot to make your eyes roll back in your head.
2. Little Spoon, Big Spoon
Do you like spooning with your partner? Does the feeling of being held make you feel safe while also turning you on? The next time you’re getting down and dirty, add a little sweetness with the “little spoon, big spoon” position.
This anal sex position works the same as it does during cuddle time, except there’s one super naughty, sexy twist. The big spoon will do more than just kiss the back of your neck occasionally; they will be all up in your business (quite literally).
Changing up the angle you’re laying at can also switch up the depth of penetration, plus the “big spoon” has access to all of those delightful goodies on the front of the “little spoon,” adding to the pleasure and stimulation.
3. The Cowboy
Yee haw — it’s the cowboy position (or cowgirl position, depending on how you identify). While you can absolutely break out your chaps and cowboy hats if you want, they’re not mandatory (but hey, we see you, role players).
With the cowboy, the penetrating partner will be lying on their back. Then, using plenty of lube and, without forgetting the foreplay, the receiver straddles them and lowers themselves down onto them.
Talk about hot. Nothing screams “I want this” more than a partner so willing to take it in the backdoor that they’re doing it themselves.
If you feel like switching things up a bit, have the person on top flip around and face their partner’s toes — this is called the reverse cowboy position. While it may not be as personal, you can’t be mad at the view. Reverse cowboy is perfect for those voyeurs who want to see what they’re doing to their partner.
4. Doggy Style
Do you like deep penetration? Doggy style is the perfect position for anyone looking for deeper penetration without having to be a contortion artist. The classic doggy-style position puts the receiving partner on their hands and knees, with the penetrating partner kneeling behind them.
There’s plenty of space for creativity, too. You can easily change it up to get the depth you’re looking for by having the receiver put their chest or torso on the bed. Add a little hair-pulling or spanking to make it extra naughty.
Reach around and jerk your partner off while you’re inside them, or reach under you to jerk yourself off or play with your partner while they go to town. Doggy-style position definitely isn’t boring.
5. The Knees-to-Shoulders
The knees-to-shoulders position is a twist on the classic missionary, allowing for deeper penetration while still giving you that eye-to-eye contact you crave.
Start by getting into your regular missionary position. Then, if you’re the receiving partner, pull your knees up to your shoulders, almost like you’re a ball or in the fetal position on your back. If you’re really flexible, you can put your legs on your partner’s shoulders.
Just a warning, though, this position can be super deep and intense, so don’t try it if you’re not ready to get absolutely nailed (and always use plenty of lube).
6. From Behind
Not every anal penetration position you do from the back means you’re “stuck” with doggy style. There are plenty of other ways to hit it from behind without requiring one partner to be on their hands and knees (because let’s face it not everyone’s knees can handle that).
Hitting it from behind means getting some of the best parts of doggy style while still allowing for intimacy. Instead of being on your hands and knees, the penetrating partner will lie fully on top of the partner getting dicked down. You’ll still get that deep penetration while also being able to kiss your partner and whisper sweet nothings (or dirty, dirty things) in their ear.
7. The Seated Power Bottom
We love a power bottom (and anyone who flips sexual stereotypes on their head). If you live for the feeling of empowerment you get from bottoming, this anal sex position is for you.
Grab a chair (or head to the couch) and have your partner sit down. Then, it’s up to you to mount up and go to town. Even though you’re getting penetrated, you’re also controlling the depth and rhythm. It’s the perfect way to take care of your top while still getting off.
The seated power bottom position is also great for people new to anal. Although it may seem intimidating to be “in charge,” it also lets you find and stick with your unique comfort level instead of feeling pressured to do more than you’re ready to do.
8. 69 With a Twist
Not all anal play has to involve penetration, especially if you’re just starting the exploration project. The 69 with a twist position is excellent for beginners who want to experiment with butt stuff without committing to full anal sex. Plus, both you and your partner get to experience pleasure at the same time — win/win, right?
The easiest way to get into this position is to have the partner most interested in getting a rim job to situate themselves on their hands and knees. The other partner can then position themselves underneath them and start licking while the other partner masturbates them.
You can always flip positions whenever you want, especially if one of you is getting tired from holding the position!
You can also try this position on your side, which puts less physical pressure on one specific partner. Prop yourself up with pillows on your backs to hold you there, then just enjoy the sensation!
9. The Superman
The “superman” likely isn’t a position for your first time, but it’s definitely one you want to try if you’ve got some experience and want to branch out a little bit. You’ll need a sturdy chair and at least a moderate amount of leg and core strength.
If you’re the partner who is going to be doing the penetration, sit on the chair and straighten your body out (almost like you’re “planking” on your back). Your partner will then get on top, facing you or away from you, balancing themselves as you enter them. Find the most comfortable position for both of you, then try lifting your legs and changing how you’re balancing until you hit “the spot.”
For a twist on the superman, try bending your partner over a desk or table and getting on top of them. Instead of keeping your feet on the floor while you penetrate them, lift them both off the floor and use your core strength to balance yourself on them entirely. Think of it like doggy-style without using your legs.
10. The Blowjob
Would you rather enjoy your backdoor play with a side of blowjob? Don’t leave the booty out of your oral sex. When blowing your partner, try a little fingering or a sex toy meant for butt love (butt plugs and anal beads are perfect and feel oh-so-good).
Make sure you keep communicating with your partner and continue knowing and respecting their boundaries. You can even take a break every once in a while for a little rim job action!
Experiment with different blowjob positions. Have your partner sit in a chair, lay on their back in bed, or even surprise them by blowing them while they stand in the kitchen. It’s amazing how much more pleasurable an already super hot sex act can be when you add a little anal play into the mix.
What Are Some Tips To Turn Up the Heat?
Want even more ways to turn up the heat on your anal sex positions? Looking for more than just “gay sex positions” to take your lovemaking to a new level?
We’ve got a few more tips for keeping the heat high, even if you’re in a long-term relationship.
Prostate Pleasure
If you were born with a male body, you were also born with a tiny little walnut-sized gland called a prostate. The prostate is key in helping to produce seminal fluid, but it’s far more popular for its intense pleasure potential — it’s not called the P-spot for nothing!
When stimulated the “right” way, the prostate can produce its own unique type of orgasm. People who have had prostate orgasms describe them as completely different from a traditional orgasm — more full-body and toe-curling than anything you’ve probably experienced before.
It can help to invest in prostate-specific toys, like prostate massagers, that are made to reach right up to your P-spot. We also encourage you to try to find your or your partner’s prostate with your fingertips because that way, you’ll know what you’re looking for.
Try gently pressing on your prostate like you’re trying to ring a doorbell. Don’t be afraid to explore.
Lube Up
We’ve all seen porn where one partner uses spit for anal penetration. Sure, it’s definitely hot to watch (if that’s your thing), but is it realistic? Comfortable? Not so much.
If you’re going to explore butt stuff, don’t do it without investing in some quality lube. The anus can’t make its own; going for it without lubrication can be dangerous and even increase the risk of STIs. Plus, not using lube is uncomfortable and may lead to anal tearing — nobody wants that (plus, it takes you out of play for a while as you heal).
But there’s more to lubing up than just physically using lube. Foreplay should always be a part of your sexual activity — getting your head in the game is just as crucial to having fun and getting off as being physically aroused. Trust us on this one.
The anus often has a mind of its own, so you need to work on learning how to coax it open so it will be cooperative when it’s time to get down to business.
Top or Bottom?
Although we tend to talk about tops, bottoms, and versatiles in terms of gay men, those terms can really apply to anyone sexually active. You don’t have to officially declare your status before experimenting with anal; it can help to have a general idea of what side of the spectrum you fall into (or if you’re in the middle).
If you’re unfamiliar with these terms, here’s a quick refresher:
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Top: While there are many different ways to be a top, tops are usually the ones doing the penetrating or being in charge. Being a top often involves an element of power, even if you’re just sitting (or laying) back and letting your partner get you off.
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Bottom: Bottoms are the exact opposite of tops (they’re usually the ones being penetrated), although being a bottom doesn’t have to mean you aren’t an active participant. If you prefer to be told what to do or to use your body to bring your partner pleasure, you’re probably a bottom.
- Versatile (Vers): Versatile people are comfortable with either topping or bottoming and can take either role in a sexual encounter. Being vers doesn’t mean you don’t have a preference, so you shouldn’t feel bad about expressing that preference either!
If you don’t have a strong feeling one way or another, there’s nothing wrong with trying them both out to see what fits best. Again, never be afraid to experiment — sometimes, it’s the only way to truly know yourself!
Draw the Line
It’s always good to set boundaries, especially when trying new things. Before trying anything new, set aside some time to talk with your partner about those boundaries. It doesn’t matter where you draw the line (no penetration, certain off-limits positions, etc.); a worthwhile partner that respects you will always hear you and never try to blow past those boundaries.
On the flip side, make sure you’re asking your partner about their boundaries too! The best sex involves effective communication before, during, and after the act. That means you’re always learning about yourself and each other to get even better at making each other feel good.
Pick a Safe Word
Safe words aren’t just for BDSM; they’re an essential part of any sex act (especially when trying something new!). Safe words give you a way to tell your partner to stop without having to just say “stop.” That way, when you’re in the moment, there’s no question about what you mean or want.
Don’t have a safe word? It’s time to get one! Safe words can really be anything you want. The only mandatory part of choosing a safe word is that you pick one that you wouldn’t usually say while you’re getting busy (AKA — don’t pick something like “daddy” if it turns you on to call your partner that in the bedroom).
Instead, stick with words that wouldn’t come out of your mouth regardless of how turned on you are. Need a few examples? Try “unicorn,” “penguin,” or “pineapple.”
Make sure you talk to your partner about your safe word and what you mean when you say it before things get hot and heavy. You can’t expect them to just know, and communication is super hot to get exactly what you want in the bedroom.
Try Something New
Sure, you could have the same sex over and over again. If your partner is super familiar with your body, you might even have an orgasm every time. But that’s going to get boring pretty quickly, and you’re definitely not going to be dying to rip your partner’s clothes off when you see them if you’re stuck in a rut.
Trying new anal sex positions is a great start, but don’t stop there. Butt stuff is very diverse, and you can do much more than just simple penetration. Check out the huge range of booty-centered sex toys, from butt plugs to anal beads to strap-on dildos.
If you’re feeling nervous about trying them with a partner, use them for masturbation and see what turns you on the most. Don’t be afraid to try new things — you never know what you’re into until you try.
You can also try to take your sexy times outside of the bedroom! Try making out with your partner in the car, checking out a sex club, or getting a little naughty on your next camping trip. Changing the scenery can give you the spark you need to recharge your sex life and keep things fun and interesting.
Have Fun
Listen, you can study gay sex positions all you want, but what's the point if you’re not having fun? All sex, regardless of your body, gender identity, sexual orientation, etc., should be a blast. Don’t focus on simply getting off — great sex is about enjoying yourself and exploring your body (and your partner’s body).
When was the last time that you truly had fun in the bedroom? Sex should be exciting, not monotonous. If you feel like it’s gotten routine and boring, try introducing more fun into your love life!
Truly play with your partner, laugh at yourselves when something feels weird, and don’t take things too seriously. Life is far too short to approach sex like it’s just one more chore that you need to cross off your list.
The Bottom Line
There are hundreds and hundreds of different sexual positions, each with pros and cons. Trying out a few new anal sex positions can put the spark back into a long-term relationship that’s lost its luster or help you learn new things about what you like if you’re starting a new one.
Remember, sex should be fun and mutually pleasurable, and your partner should always listen to and respect your boundaries. With an open mind and a lot of lube, you’ll make backdoor lovin’ a regular part of your lovemaking from here on out.
Sources:
How does the prostate work? | NCBI Bookshelf
Lubrication Practices and Receptive Anal Sex: Implications for STI Transmission and Prevention | PMC
(PDF) Tops, bottoms and versatiles | Sexual and Relationship Therapy