If someone calls you a "brat," you'd probably call them a dick and walk away while holding your middle finger up high, right? Yeah, us too — unless, of course, it's about BDSM, where being a bonafide, full-blown brat has different implications and is often a one-way ticket to some consensual punishment (think: spankings *drool*).
Confused? Don't worry; Simpli is here to help! In this post, we're diving into the big wide world of BDSM to uncover all there is to know about the brat kink. Maybe you saw a steamy video or read an erotic book, and brat BDSM piqued your curiosity. Or perhaps you've always had a bratty attitude and are wondering how to harness that power (yes, it's a power) in the bedroom.
Whatever the case may be, you'll find answers below.
First Things First, What's a Brat?
Unlike in vanilla sexual settings, where being a brat translates to rudeness, immaturity, or an uncooperative nature, being a brat in the context of BDSM is simply another way to be a sub for your dom. It's a consensual role the submissive takes on because they enjoy being a little bit of an as*hat.
These playful subs love to push the buttons and break the rules to provoke attention from their Dom Daddy. In other words, being a brat isn't a personality flaw — it's a role you choose to take on when getting freaky in the sheets (or anywhere else you like it).
That said, while being a brat is one role in the umbrella category of "submissive," you don't necessarily need to be a brat to be a sub. If you don't like talking back or being especially sassy and prefer a more submissive role, there are tons of other submissive archetypes in the BDSM world to explore.
Here are some of them:
- A masochist achieves sexual gratification from their own pain or humiliation.
- A baby girl or baby boy is submissive and exhibits childlike characteristics like curiosity. These gentle subs often need to be coddled.
- A good girl or boy is a sub who gets gratification from pleasing their dom counterpart and thrive on praise for being "good."
- The victim archetype is a form of consensual victim play and is typically reserved for very experienced members of the BDSM community. Safe words are typically required.
- A slave considers their body to be of sexual service to the demands of their master or mistress (aka "Dom").
- A pet is a sub who enjoys taking on the role of an animal — often a puppy or kitten — to please their master or owner.
What's a Brat Tamer?
The dom is referred to as the brat tamer in a brat-play relationship. So this would be the dominant person who has to — you guessed it — tame the brat.
There are many ways to play this role in a BDSM relationship. Maybe you're a mean teacher, a cocky guard, or a fed-up Daddy. Or maybe you're just a no-frills kind of dom who tames their brat with nothing more than a stern attitude — there's no end to the possibilities.
Hold Up — What Exactly Is BDSM?
When most folks hear about BDSM, they tend to think of RiRi singing about whips and chains or Fifty Shades' Christian Grey unlocking the red room. And while it's no secret that the BDSM community is, well… not particularly fond of the Fifty Shades franchise, there's no denying that the series put the kink in the hot seat.
But what is BDSM, really?
In short, the practice is an erotic power exchange between consenting participants. If you're into the kink, you know firsthand that it isn't just a satisfying physical activity or a way to feel super close to your partner — it can also be an orgasmic psychological thrill!
That said, the acronym BDSM refers to consensual sexual practices that can be divided into these categories:
- Bondage. Physically restraining a partner during the act, such as with handcuffs, rope, or cords.
- Dominance. Exerting power or control over a partner during sexy time.
- Submission. Being dominated during sex or willingly submitting to the control of a sexual partner (aka the "Dom").
- Sadomasochism. Getting sexual gratification from either inflicting or receiving physical pain or humiliation.
While these are the broader categories, there's no one way to do BDSM — different types can include bondage, edging, sensory deprivation, and of course, brat play.
How Does the Brat Role Work in BDSM?
As mentioned earlier, a BDSM brat is a playful sub. They love to "poke the bear" and rile up their dom counterparts on purpose. They deliberately mess up, forget, or straight-up disobey.
But it's all in the spirit of light-hearted mischief, sassiness, and good fun rather than true antagonism. So, how does the dominant react to a brat and their bratty antics, you ask? Why, just as any self-respecting Dom does, of course! Through various corrective actions.
Here are some of the many ways a Dom might put a brat back in their place:
- Spanking. Put that brat right over your knee and show ‘em who's boss! Just remember to aim for the fleshy parts of the body, such as the booty cheeks and upper thighs.
- Revoking privileges. Take away something they like and watch how fast their bratty attitude changes.
- Gags. Pro tip: bratty comments can be silenced with a gag. You're welcome.
- Kneeling. No one likes to kneel for more than a few minutes. This is especially true when kneeling on top of uncooked rice. Bonus punishment: cleaning up the rice.
- Time out. This restrictive punishment works wonders for spoiled brats, so why not give it a whirl for your BDSM brat? Send your brat to the corner to contemplate their bratty actions.
- Chores. There's nothing quite like doing chores to correct a cheeky sub.
- Orgasm denial. This is where you bring your brat to the brink of orgasm, only to stop touching them right before they climax. Oh, the sweet agony!
Hot Tip: Have a bratty Houdini on your hands? Invest in some high-quality restraints like the Sportsheets Under the Bed Restraint System. Trust us — you'll thank us later.
What Motivates a Brat?
Truth be told, the reasons behind what a brat does can't always be summed up in simple terms. Why? Because a brat is a complex creature that needs a good chunk of time under the microscope.
That said, the key to success with this erotic dynamic is working with the brat — not against them. With this in mind, here are a few things that may motivate a brat:
Punishment or "Funishment”
A large part of the bratty submissive role involves "pleasurable penalties'' or funishments. Sometimes, a Dom falls behind on their punishment administration duties, and as a result, the brat will attempt to press out disciplinary actions by being a smart-assed masochist.
You see, subs seek out punishments for several personal reasons. Maybe they like getting choked or timed out. Perhaps they've had a rough week and could really use a good cry (been there), which can come from a particularly steamy spanking session. Whatever the reason is, the brat must have agreed to the penalty.
Attention
Yep, often it's just that simple. The Dom may be the boss, but the submissive brat is the star — and stars demand attention. Period.
Neglecting to make a sub feel seen can trigger childish behaviors. They might throw a temper tantrum or up their bratty hijinks. As for the Dom, they may yield and respond with rewards (like head pats and kisses), while others punish via a flogger.
Everyone is different, and no two brats are the same. If attention is what a sub seeks, it's important that this desire is conveyed to avoid an unhappy dynamic.
Trust
Is your sub especially bratty? Acting out is often used to test whether you're worthy of their trust. Can they trust you? Will you only stick around when they're compliant? Is your love unconditional?
The BDSM brat wants to know you're there for the full picture — not just when you're looking to get your dick wet.
Any Bratty Tips for BDSM Newbies?
A brat's shenanigans can really spice up a relationship that's getting stale. If you're a sub looking to save your BDSM sex life from turning vanilla, here are a few beginner bratting tips:
Good ‘Ol Fashioned Sass
Arguably the best way to be a submissive brat is to sass your Dom. Things like, "why don't you make me?" "you can do better" or saying, "that doesn't hurt" after a spanking may sound a bit cliche, but dirty talk usually does until it's said in the heat of the moment.
Ignore or Refuse Orders
Rev up your Dom's engine by explicitly rejecting commands or pretending they don't exist altogether. Baffle them with your silly belligerent and see what exciting things they'll do to correct it.
Hot Tip: We hear nipple play is a pretty great way to correct a bratty attitude. Just saying.
Be Bossy. Be Ruthless. Be Bratty.
Want to get a rise out of your Dom? Try giving them a few orders. They might playfully let their tempers get the best of them and give you the kind of drool-worthy punishment you're sure to remember (and possibly feel) for days!
Here are some ideas:
- Tell them to tie the ropes tighter because they're simply not tight enough.
- Shout "I can't even feel it — do it harder" when getting flogged.
- After being especially bratty, say, "aren't you going to punish me for being naughty?" *sigh* "You've lost your touch."
- When getting licked beneath the belt, say, "I thought you were supposed to be good at this."
- Say, "is that all you've got? F*ck me harder!" during sex.
Warning: these ideas will surely get you spanked, gagged, flogged, humiliated, or tied up — so perhaps do all of them. (wink, wink).
Do the Opposite
And while you're at it, be sure to smile. You can also execute orders poorly, quickly prompting your Dom to punish you. Let the games begin!
Hot Tip: Need a treacherous tool that goes both ways? Tickle and spank with this Double-Ended Feather Plume & Vinyl Slapper for a titillating good time.
Question Everything
You know that annoying kiddo who is always questioning everything you ask them to do? Well, take notes because that's how you want to be.
When your Dom asks you to do something, ask why. When they explain themselves, answer with an "I still don't see why I should." And for the final touch of brattiness to send your Dom right over the edge, look at them with raised eyebrows and a cheeky grin when they give you the "excuse me?" and respond with "what are you gonna do about it?"
Despite only being seven little words, this question will quickly land your hiney right over your Dom's knee.
Go Forth and Be Bratty!
And there you have it — everything you need to know about the brat BDSM kink. For the right Dom, brats are amazing submissives. These cheeky subs enjoy talking back and misbehaving in a light-hearted way.
They can be both a handful and an adorable little thing that needs extra TLC. Of course, brats aren’t for everyone and can sometimes be an acquired taste. But for those who enjoy the playful and mischievous side of sex, BDSM brats are a lot of fun!
Just don’t forget to stock up on BDSM toys from yours truly here at Simpli Pleasures. Whether you’re looking to moan and groan from sundown to sun up, embrace your inner boldness, or O like you never have before, you can count on us to help you find your own fifty shades of play.
Sources:
What Is Sexual Consent? | Facts About Rape & Sexual Assault | Planned Parenthood
How 'Sassy' Came To Mean Something Both Sweet And Sour : Code Switch | NPR