Looking for sex guidance as you enter the years of your 20s? You’ve come to the right place! Just like most of the other aspects of your life, sex continues changing as you learn more about your own needs and desires. For those in their 20s, though, there’s a set of specific tips that can help you get the most out of your sex life. Check out the following guidelines and see how you can improve your sexual pleasure, whether by yourself or with your partner:
1. Get in tune with your physical self.
The 20s decade of your lifetime is usually referred to as a time of exploration. You’re still learning the ropes in various areas of your life, and that includes your love life. If you’re still stuck in a sex rut and not getting what you want from your partners, it’s time to do some more self-exploration; ninety-two percent of women do it after all. Sure, you may know how to get yourself off with clitoris stimulation, but have you explored past that? What are your other hot buttons? Learn more about yourself physically by trying out the following tips:
- Give yourself an erotic massage. Pamper yourself in a new way by giving yourself a sensual massage. The challenge for you is to avoid touching your go-to hotspots while you’re doing this massage. Take time exploring the rest of your body to see where you liked being touched; e.g., your lower back, your arms, your stomach or your sides. Start off your massage with one of our erotic massage oils or our massage oil candles like the Edible Massage Oil Candle Pack, which magically turn into a smooth and warm body oil for your self-pleasure. After your massage, treat yourself to a hot bubble bath and a glass of wine!
- Experiment with sex toys. Sex toys can offer even more pleasure potential for your sweet spots, so why not test out if these naughty objects can make solo sessions better for you? Eighteen out of 20 women have sex toys in their secret pleasure box. Sex toys come in countless shapes and sizes. If you’re a beginner or you’re new to the entire sex world, you won’t have trouble finding the right toy for you. Also, these erotic toys can help you discover all kinds of pleasure points. However, if you focus on a one-way street to orgasm, your body will get used to this stimulation method, which can be frustrating if you want to feel good in other ways. Open your mind and body to new and sexy arousal methods, and you’ll be surprised on all the secret erotic zones you’ll find on your body. Here are some of the many sex toys that you can get adventurous with:
- Rabbit Vibrators – They’re a classic in the sex toy world, so add one of these dual-action vibes to your collection. The rabbit vibrator is known for its simultaneous G-spot and clitoral stimulation, so you can experience double the pleasure with a single toy. Some rabbit vibrators, such as My First Jack Rabbit Vibrator and the Classic Remote Control Rabbit Pearl Vibrator, even have extra functions like rotating beads in the shaft for extra excitement.
- Glass Dildos – Silky smooth, firm, and beautifully sculpted, glass dildos are stunning works of art that deliver unique and sensational arousal to your sweet spots. Most glass dildos have a one-of-a-kind design for maximum pleasure like the Icicles No. 1 Bumpy Glass Dildo and Icicles No. 55 G-Spot Curved Glass Dildo. You can chill and warm up glass dildos for extra fun sensations.
- Nipple Toys – Nipples are one of the most sensitive erogenous zones; nearly 82 percent of women and 52 percent of men experience enhanced sexual arousal when they indulge in nipple play. If you have sensitive nipples, try adjustable nipple clamps such as the Nipplettes Vibrating Nipple Clamps or nipple suction kits to make your nipples ultra-sensitive like the Nipple Enhancer Set. Most nipple toys come with adjustable clamps so you can customize your pleasure; go as hard or as gentle as you want!
- Anal Sex Toys – Anal sex isn’t as taboo as it used to be, and there are plenty of toys for anyone at any level to try if they’re curious about the backdoor pleasure world. FiveThirtyEight shared a report by the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior that stated 100 percent of men and 94 percent of women achieved orgasm through anal sex (though it’s important to note that multiple sex acts may have been performed.) From beginner-friendly butt plugs to jumbo anal dildos, you can find toy to stimulate your booty no matter your experience level. You can also find anal hygiene tools, too, to keep yourself clean before you indulge in backdoor bliss.
- Escalate masturbation ecstasy with stimulating gels. Some lubricants and gels bring ordinary stimulation to the next level. For example, the Tickle Her Pink Clitoral Pleasure Gel is applied to a woman’s clitoris to make it more sensitive to the touch, which enhances arousal. The System JO G-Spot Mild Stimulating Gel is used to make the elusive G-spot easier to find and stimulate. (Psst! Interested in more G-spot stimulation? Check out these specially designed G-spot sex toys for women.) For men, stimulating gels and lubricants such as the Max G Stimulating Male Sex Prostate Gel ensure that your pleasure zones are more than ready to be stimulated. (For prostate massagers and sex toys, browse through our collection.)
- Try different masturbation routines. Do you have a go-to routine that you always go to when you’re masturbating? For instance, perhaps you use an up-and-down motion with your fingers to stimulate your clitoris. Why not try other routines, such as using your index finger to lightly graze your clitoris in a figure-8 pattern, to see if you can hit sensitive spots that you never knew were there? You can also switch up your masturbation positions; if you lie down on your back for self-pleasure, try getting in doggy-style position and see if you can experience different sensations.
- Tease yourself before climax. Instead of working your way to an orgasm, get yourself close to the edge, but pull back before you reach it. Teasing yourself can heighten your sexual arousal and make orgasms much more intense. This “edging’ method can also help you get more pleasure from hand-only stimulation.
2. Be vocal about what you want in bed.
If you haven’t been getting what you want with your partner, it’s time to speak up! In fact, 80 percent of people (Americans, specifically) indulge in naughty talk play while they’re doing the deed. When you know what you want, but you’re not getting it from your partner, it’s important to relay the message to them. Sex is a form of body language and communication.
Psychology Today analyzed studies that described how the reason individuals in a relationship have sex can affect their own sexual desire and the relationship as a whole. The studies showed that those who were having sex due to avoidance goals (e.g., avoiding disappointing their partners) would experience a decreased desire to engage in sexual activities, and the relationship can suffer as a result since these individuals were focused on avoiding a negative outcome.
If you’re not getting what you want in bed, but you’re only having sex with your partner to avoid conflict, you won’t be satisfied in the end, and that can take a toll on your relationship and your own personal happiness. Start being more assertive about your own personal pleasure; sex is a 2-way street after all. Here are two simple ways for you to be more vocal about your sexual needs without offending your partner or stirring up unnecessary drama:
- Use your moans. Have you ever been shy about moaning in bed or felt insecure about what sounds you made? Even if you personally think they sound weird, your moans can encourage your lover and be a word-free way to show that you love what they’re doing to you. Being non-verbal, yet vocal at the same time, can help you feel more satisfied with your love life. Also, if using words just isn’t your thing, even after you’ve tried it, then your moans are the best thing to use as your pleasure weapons.
- Ease into dirty talk. You don’t have to talk like you’re in a XXX-rated film. Dirty talk can be intimidating to some people due to various reasons, such as feeling silly about it or feeling insecure and wondering if they’re doing it “right.” But dirty talk is simpler than you think, and it all starts with a few magic words. Here are some examples to begin your naughty speak:
- “I love when you touch me there.”
- “Go to the right just a little bit more.”
- “Rub me here.”
- “Touch me like this.”
Keep in mind that positivity and fun are the main factors of effective dirty talk. Avoid criticizing or demanding your partner; there’s no need to make sex so serious! You’ll get to the point where you and your lover are in sync with each other and can enjoy a more fulfilling sex life. Practice until you find the right words to express how you want to be pleased; this means you won’t need to fake orgasms (which 48 percent of women do) or force anything anymore!
3. Be true to yourself and exude self-confidence.
If you have ever felt like you had to act a certain way (like a pornstar, for instance) in bed, it’s time to let go of those beliefs and expectations in your 20s. The reality is that sex is a learning experience. For singles, the more partners you have, the more you’ll learn about the countless realms of sex and pleasure. For individuals in a romantic relationship, you’ll still continue learning about your lover’s sexual needs, wants, fantasies, etc., over time. You’ll continue improving in the bedroom and being more connected with your partner, as long as you desire to and make time to do so.
Having confidence and having fun in the bedroom is what will kick your personal insecurities out the door. If you don’t like something or if you’re doing something that isn’t enjoyable for you, open up and communicate with your partner. When you stay true to yourself, your sexual needs, and your boundaries, you’ll have a more satisfying sex life.
4. Evaluate your relationships.
Is there something going on in your sex life that you’re not happy about? For example, if you’ve only been dating around and having casual sex, you may be missing out on better sexual experiences by having less meaningful relationships. Women are more likely to regret casual sex than men are; if you’re feeling unsatisfied about your relationships, some self-reflection is in order. In some cases, having a more meaningful relationship can help you feel more emotionally and sexually fulfilled in life. (You can even find one in a casual hook-up.)
5. Focus more on foreplay.
Instead of going straight to the action, spend 10-20 minutes on some pre-sex play. Building up sexual anticipation can make intercourse even more intense and satisfying for both partners, and it can even help you and your partner last longer in bed. By taking time for foreplay, you’ll also help enhance intimacy between you and your lover. For example, if you tease and touch each other throughout the day, the sexual tension remains all day long, which can help make sex much more pleasurable for you both. Foreplay can also help women relax and help open up their body to more pleasure. If you get tense before sex and can’t always be 100 percent relaxed, foreplay can make your entire experience better than ever. If you’d like to include more foreplay acts in your sex life, try these:
- Enjoying a steamy and sensual make-out session with your lover;
- Dry humping and having your partner fondling your boobs or naughty parts over your clothes;
- Oral sex;
- Cuddling while watching a movie or television show;
- Soft and slow oral sex action or mutual masturbation;
- Experimenting with sex toys together;
- Showering or taking a bath together;
- Masturbating each other and coming close to the edge, then pausing before climax;
- Trying light bondage play;
- Watching porn together;
- Strip teasing;
- Erotic nude massages.
Keep these sex tips in mind as you go through your 20s and build your own list of personal sex tips or guidelines you follow as you continue learning about yourself and others sexually. If you’d like to learn more about having better sex, sex toys, and more, be sure to check our blog regularly for the latest updates!